I have a friend that recently took an interest in the popular P90X workout program. He saw it working for people he knew and decided that it was something he wanted to do. So he bought the stuff and watched the videos first, without doing the workouts. He felt that some of the exercises were too difficult, some were pointless, and some were ideal for somebody like him. So he went about doing P90X his way, and after about 3 weeks declared that this P90X is a load of crap! He's not getting the results that others are. Well...
This is an extreme and perhaps oversimplified anecdote but i do feel it's applicable. I know people and meet people with regularity who declare that AA/NA can't work for them, and those that also say it didn't work for them. To a person, these individuals either did not follow the simple suggestions contained in the recovery program or they picked and chose only certain aspects.
Now that is certainly everyones right to do. My position is simply that when i arrived in places like this forum, treatment centers, and 12 step meetings my way of doing things was clearly a failure. i was willing to try anything to find a new way of life. Now conceding that my way had brought me to this place of desperation it seemed sensible to remove me from the equation and simply do what these other people did, to the best of my ability, in order to achieve what it was in them that i wanted.
I'm not advocating being a mindless drone. I'm far from that. One of the beautiful things about the steps is the open-endedness of the language, the critical part being your freedom to choose your own concept of a higher power.
I was turned off my many things about the program initially but decided that since my way was failure upon failure i would try their way and see what happened. It couldn't make my life any worse than i had done myself, right? I felt that doing only certain things wouldn't give me an accurate sample of the power of this program. I know this from prior personal experience where i'd go to meetings, no sponsor, no step work and numerous variations of that. I was one of the people who felt that this NA stuff doens't work for me!
Then i realized that i'm not really so unique, and if i'm at a place in my life that i'm requiring outside help and guidance for a personal issue that i desire to change, then it would behoove me to actually do what this outside help suggests, just like my friend with P90X.
I'm in no way suggesting that a 12 step program is the only way to recover. I know for a fact that it is not. I find it unfortunate that some people in the rooms would proclaim that AA/NA is the only way to recover. I tend to believe people, however, when they proclaim that AA is the only way for them to recover. There's a big difference between those statements, and most of us have tried a myriad of ways by the time we land in the rooms.
Ultimately it's up to the individual and anyone with the desire is welcome to join. And you can get out of it what you choose, and leave the rest if you like. There are plenty of things said by people that i leave. It's the basics that i followed to a t. Meetings, home group, service, 90 in 90, and most importantly step work with my sponsor.
Anyway, i've rambled enough. Good luck with whatever path you choose. It is my wish that you find the freedom you seek, by any means.