I didn't know what was what, what was real, what was a lie. I was so confused and sick and scared and tired. What I should have been was mad.
It took my counselor looking me in the eyes after she read an email from my AH threatening to have me evicted from our home, and telling me that THIS IS ABUSE, for me to even begin to wake up to it all.
By that time, he had already contrived to remove my car from the home, and he had changed the PIN numbers on our accounts - I could no longer get cash easily. The noose got tighter and tighter.
She kept telling me I needed to make a plan, get independent of him.
I did it the ONLY way I could, I packed what would fit in "his" vehicle and I left.
My life was utterly unmanageable while I was living in that nightmare. I often thought of the scene in Silence of the Lambs, where Jody Foster is in the house and it's pitch dark - she can't see - but he has on night vision goggles and can see her struggling, and her fear.
I had to get out of there, for my sanity and my self worth. And I had to get my daughter out too. I took control over what I had control over, and left.