Originally Posted by Taira
I still think recovery is important so the same mistakes are not repeated in future relationships...but is my life, albeit calm...what you want for yours?
Thing is, is HAD you have divorced him, is there any guarantee that you would still not be in a similar position now, just with husband #2?
Or, would you have done what others have done (raises hand here) and dumped the hubby, experience serenity, figure your healed because you don't have the problem around anymore and then had to do the whole thing again anyways? Found a workaholic or a foodaholic or some such to replace the alkie?
Perhaps where you are is pretty good when seen in another light?
You hit the nail on the head of the point I was trying to make. Sure, I can leave, consider myself all better, then end up in the same position or worse with someone else.
To answer your other question, I think helping is when they ask for it and you agree to support them up to a certain point. Rescuing is helping them when they don't ask for it and you do way more for them than you should, with no boudaries in place. How do you know when it's too much? When you start getting angry and resentful that they aren't doing things the way you want them to..