Chino

kj, I had to sit on this and think a while. I lied to myself and said I wanted to see how Freedom responded, but the truth is I was working up the courage (and patience) to say what I need and am just following her lead

Am I one of those people? For all I know you have me on ignore. Either way I'm OK with that and I'm a real person with real feelings, too

From my perspective, I basically said the same thing Kindeyes did, but rhetorically and in one sentence. I'm a bottom line kind of person and it drives my RAD nuts sometimes. Sometimes she wants what is impossible for me to give, and other times I don't have the slightest idea what she wants. It forces us to have a dialogue full of questions and answers, and we both gain from the experience. It can be frustrating but we both find clarity of thought in the process.

From my experience, the more I personalize others perspectives and realities, the more I lose my own. I can no more be responsible for others thoughts and feelings, than I can with my RAD, my original qualifier. No one is responsible for my thoughts and feelings either. We are all responsible for ourselves in every way.

I met my RA step mom's sponsor a few weeks ago. She's tough as nails with a heart of gold. She told daughter and I she relapsed after 15 years (I think) because of codependency. She didn't become an AA sponsor again until she worked all the steps from our side of things.

That's the bottom line again, from where I sit. When the student's ready they find the teacher (sponsor). 'Diane' is not ready and it didn't sound like your sponsor asked that of you.

Today I have learned I still need to do more work on my patience and clarity of thought. I can't tell you how many times I've edited this and it's taken far longer than I wanted. You are not responsible for my limitations and frustration. I am. I own this