Have you expressed these things with your sponsor? I see the value of having a network of addicts to turn to, hang out with, or just call when you need to (my husband has been working on the same thing) but it doesn't sound like the people you have in your circle right now are healthy for you, and that's important too. There needs to be a balance between giving back to the program, being of service, making friends and taking care of your own recovery. From what I've read of your posts, seems like you've got a good handle on what is & isn't good for your recovery. So "Diane" didn't work out, you know it now and can move on, but maybe the next person will end up being a good friend.
Are there any women's only meetings in your area that could expand your choices? The other thought I had is if you attend Al-Anon or Nar-Anon meetings (don't remember if you do), but anyway, in our area there is one meeting that has a lot of members who also go to AA or NA. In other words, people that could understand both perspectives, like you. You might find you have more in common with them.