HIgby442

Lastnight I was having one of those kind of down Friday nights. No particular reason, I had a pretty decent week. By 9PM I was tired, bored etc. and frustrated because I was not doing what my freinds were doing on a Friday night...you probably all know what I am talking about. I had already hit up a meeting, did some reading and decided to call it a night.

Lastnight not only did I have a dream of drinking/using again, but I had two in a row. The first one happened and I woke up feeling crappy, but really thankful that it was just a dream and went back to bed. I had a 2nd one just as real and prolific as the first one and then i woke up this morning. I can still recall the dreams perfectly. The first dream, I had gone through a horrible blackout and my closest freinds were all telling me what a loser I was and all the horrible things I did to ruin my freinds wedding day. Then in the 2nd one, I was drinking and using in front of my dad-someone very close to me and he was not angry, but upset at the state I was in.

The scary thing is, the dreams were in succession to eachother. I woke up feeling wicked scared and depressed-like it really happened. And, after a good nights sleep I felt kind of tired, shaky-almost like I didnt go to bed sober.

But-now I feel good. I am not letting this get me down. Today is a beautiful day. I woke up sober and my alcoholic mind is still getting better. I have chosen to take that experience as a learning experience-to use it as reminder of how lucky and how thankful I am to be 237 sober instead of looking at myself not sober like my dreams were.

I think dreams like that are our minds trying to tell us things like-Hey remember how bad things were? Or, remember how bad things could get? Its like a motivating tool to pull you out of things and put things in perspective. I was having a tough friday and I feel like those dreams said to me-hey here's what would happen if you gave in Friday night to your cravings.

All the best