klar

Hi.

I only came across this site about a week ago, but the reading I have done here has already been tremendously helpful - so thanks for that everyone.

I stopped drinking alcohol this past Monday, 8/24/10. I'm 34 years old and for the last 10 years I've been developing into a "functional" alcoholic. My behavior was a very consistent minimum 4 drinks every evening w/ some occasional social binges.

The decision was made for three primary reasons.
1. My ability to feel really excited and anxious about anything has been so muted for the past 5 years it is frustrating. I never get those creative bursts of motivation I used to have and it's hard for me to find anything cool or interesting.

2. Tired of spending the first 5 hours of my day foggy in the head with a sometimes small or big hangover. Only to wait another 5 to feed my body more alcohol so I can fall asleep on the couch watching TV at 8:00pm. (that's my routine, pretty boring, ask my girlfriend - she hates it!)

3. For the past couple of years I've started to get these weird injuries and nagging physical problems. I've been an athlete my entire life and my sport is still a very big part of what defines me. I push my body hard enough and I don't want the added burden of working through pain that I don't need to.

It wasn't until recently that I finally admitted to myself that I have a problem. Sure, I had thought about it many times in the past, on more than one occasion saying to myself, "Man, I think I might be an alcoholic". Once I started doing some reading and understanding the biology of the disease, the types of alcoholics, and the physical impacts I had a good start. BUT - the recognition came when I started to think about my behavior over the past 10 years and saying "Holy CRAP, it's been 10 years!". And the icing on the cake was to understand how the disease is progressive. These are the reasons I know I am an alcoholic:
1. My drinking length and pattern.

2. I've said no less than 50 times in the past 10 years that I want to stop drinking, only to come back to it after various periods of sobriety (my longest was about 4 months)

3. When I had stopped those times, I had definite physical withdrawal symptoms.

So, after connecting all the dots and doing a little reflecting it became very klar (the German word for clear), that I am an alcoholic.

Now I have a question and a request.

My question is - are there any good resources online or off, that my girlfriend could read to understand the disease from the perspective of someone who doesn't suffer from it? She is the first person, and only person thus far (besides all of you) that I have told. It was clear she didn't get it because she said "You're not an alcoholic" and "So you mean you can't ever drink a beer or glass of wine again?"

My request is - I want to tell my family (parents and sister), but I'm not sure how to do it. I live and work out of the country, so I don't physically see them very often. I will see all of them on a short vacation in late September and I want to take the opportunity to tell them. There is a complication, in that my father suffers from a very similar situation except that I know he's not quite ready to admit it. He and I are close and I'm hoping my coming clean will help and motivate him. If anyone has any advice or experiences to share about telling your family you have a problem, I would appreciate reading those. Even posting a link of a good story or experience is fine.

Thanks for taking the time to read all of this!

I'm here for support and to support others. It's great to know there are other people just like me.

Thanks

Clay