Originally Posted by
groybin 
I can SO RELATE to your post how hard it was to remember the good times which make it harder to let go.
For the longest time I couldn't understand why and the other day my therapist shed some light on this.
He said that dysfunctional relationships are like old cars. You can spend alot of time and money on an old car: repair the dents, paint it, wax it, buff out the rust, clean the windows until they shine.....but if the engine is bad, if it is too expensive to fix or beyond repair, it will never fulfill your needs!
You are wasting your time and money, but it is so hard to stop, to say I've had enough, because you have invested so much already... it is too hard to walk away and accept that you are stuck with a lemon.
All of us who have seen our investment go down the drain and have chosen reality have lost a lemon but have gained back our sanity and serenity!
Bravo!
I like the analogy your therapist uses there,groybin.
What came to my mind when I read this was that just when you think you have got the car fixed and it runs fine for a while, getting you thinking that maybe this time the problem had been solved, it breaks down once again, bringing you right back to square one. There's only so many times you can put yourself through this - it's either the same problem or something else that comes up. Do you try and fix the car up once again or, like your therapist said, accept that you have a lemon?
another good tool to put in my recovery toolbox to ease the ache in my heart.........
