Originally Posted by
BklynGrl 
This is one of my AH's favorite phrases whether we are fighting or trying to have a serious conversation. He always pulls it out, "just tell me what to do and I'll do it." Which is then usually followed by I don't know how to make you happy anymore.
Without fail every time he utters those words it sends me into a tailspin. I just don't know how to react to it,any words of wisdom.
Sounds familiar to me too. I took that on me for a long time, that it was up to me to make the changes, and tell him what to do to make me happy. When all along the problem lay with his drinking and abusiveness. He made me think that I was the one being difficult and hard to please. I was the problem, and the poor man was just trying to make things work. HA HA HA!!!
Not!!
If your ah is anything like my stbxah, he is just blowing smoke , and trying to make you feel guilty. I used to wonder why I felt so guilty ALL the time. Then I realized that it was not me. I do not blame him for all our problems, marriage is a partnership, but when one partner has an addiction, then the scales of blame are not equal anymore.
Tell him straight out what you need out of your marriage. If he can't give you what you need, then don't let him make it your fault.
Part of our problem was that neither of us was good at being straight with the other, not until close to the end anyway.Thats when I told him that it was up to him to do the work of getting better. He was not interested. So here we are. God's blessings,H