*UPDATE*
had a conversation with RABF yesterday. said "I can't be your girlfriend right now because it's making me really unhappy. I can't get better this way."
He said he understands. He suggested not talking for 2 weeks. I said how about 3?
Look, I know it's not 5 months or any huge amount of time. . . but it is something.
I found a sponsor too, and have started step one! She's great! I'm sure in 3 weeks time with no contact with RABF and working with my sponsor, I will have uncovered some more of what I need and how I want to move forward.
The day before RABF & I had this discussion, I was telling my sponsor that I needed to "figure out" how we were going to separate. I told her I knew I needed the time, but I didn't know how to do it. She said just for today to know that's what I wanted and to not worry about the how.
The very next day RABF and I talked and the conversation just WENT there. I found myself speaking my truth. And. . . lo and behold I have 21 glorious days to myself!
So. . . for my sponsor, for this thread, for my (at least) 3 weeks of alone-time, I am very grateful today.