I relate to so much of what you are saying! I know that when I was so wrapped up in the day to day life of my addict - what I thought was 'helping' him, making sure he had a good day, making sure he was 'happy', making sure he was not sick, that somewhere along the way I lost all sight of MY life and my wellness. When I would take the time and focus on what I needed to do, clean my act up, make sure my bills were paid, focusing on my friends and my family, I felt a sense of accomplishment too! How strange is that? Doing things for myself and my well being were taking a back seat to his lifestyle and his consequences. Sometimes we forget to take care of ourselves. But how are we ever going to have the strength to be a HEALTHY support for anyone else if we do not take the steps to become healthy for ourselves first?
It is an amazing feeling when we are able to realize this and truly be honest with ourselves about our behavior in the past. Because it IS in the past right? Never again should we allow ourselves to be so clouded in codependency that we lose sight of what makes us unique and powerful and not just another slave to addiction.
With the support of this forum - we have all come so far
we learn we explore and when we become weak we are now filled with the knowledge that we have the true strength to keep going!
Keep living in the moment
xoxo