A few weeks ago, I got really lost in the woods. It seemed like I would never get out, and that I would walk forever. However, I realized at some point that the keys were to not panic and to take one step at a time. I truly wasn't going to get out of the woods without taking each step. It's funny because those are the same things that I have learned from this website. When things start to look awful, I try to remember those two key thoughts: don't panic, and one step at a time.
His being clean for a long time makes me worry--you know, what if he relapses, etc. I am an expert at worrying. I am trying to change that pattern and starting to focus on enjoying each moment. Rather than constantly focusing on the destination, I'm trying to focus on the journey.
I'll have to say that I've found the most satisfaction from my accomplishments. Rather than focusing on how I'm going to control RABF's behavior, I try to focus on how I would live my life if he didn't have a drug addiction. If I didn't have his drug problem to worry about, I would go to class and focus on my studying. So, I guess I'm working on "Fake it until you make it." Another thing for me to focus on is work. My schoolwork is to make my job situation better. However, I'd also like to learn how to make my present job situation more pleasant. That's part of the "living in the moment" stuff that I'd like to work on.