It has been so long since I have been on here...been super busy digging into recovery...but those of you who don't know or remember me, I was with an alcoholic/addict for 5 or more years. In November, he pulled a gun on himself and held me hostage all night, knocked me around...this was the 4th domestic violence in 5 years. I am a codependent, and would visit him in jail, write letters...the usual. This last time, I only visited twice, and wrote maybe 2 or 3 times...but this time it was different.
He was sentenced to 6 months. He only served 4. He got off very easy. But this time, I got my restraining order, so he is not allowed to contact me in any way. So my healing (and my son's) could begin.
Feeling so much guilt over what I put Ryan through, this man was abusive to my son...mentally and emotionally more than anything.
Ryan and I have both been in counseling. Me since November, Ryan since...March..April maybe?
I am still constantly struggling with this codependency. I have so far to go...taking care of me and making healthy choices. I have realized that right now...my family is Ryan and I...and that needs to be put first above all before even trying to find another person to come into our life.
But I am at least able to take responsibility for myself now...since I am not so focused on Chris.
Anyway, just wanted to say hello...I am so thankful for all the support I ALWAYS got here, no matter the choices I was making at the time. I could not have done it without SR!
