I agree that you can't communicate with an active drinker. And I also agree that you can't have intimacy when trust is broken - I am there right now. My relationship is in basic shambles and I am figuring out what my next steps need to be.
But I think trust can be rebuilt. Last year through Al Anon we learned of a couples Al Anon/ AA meeting. We went with some regularity when my parents were living with me and they could stay home with the baby; after they left we still went occasionally when we could get a sitter. I have seen couples there that have been through hell and back and decided to stay together and work through the issues. Many have been coming to that group for years and credit it with saving their relationship. Some report that things are better now than they had ever been before. Each week either a couple from the meeting or an outside couple from the greater Al Anon/ AA community come to speak, and no issue is taboo - they lay out on the table how they rebuilt the relationship, good and bad times. I found it extremely helpful myself, it was like couples therapy and learning healthy behaviours from couples who learned how to use their programs for themselves and for their marriage. So I think it is possible, but both partners need to actively seek recovery and put effort into reconciling and it needs to be ongoing. It's not an accident that the couples still come back 20 years later - it keeps them putting in the effort.
Not every couple works out, but some can and I saw it at those meetings. Not sure which side I'll fall, but I have faith that whatever I will decide will be in my best interest.