You guys are us, a few short years ago. EXACTLY. Weekend warrior with the guys, just couldn't quit until he was well hammered and I'd drag his butt home. And sometimes that's not easy considering he's bigger than I am. I'd feel embarrassed a lot when our friends would comment about how drunk he'd get, and soon lost my enjoyment to go out and feel anxiety starting mid-week if we were invited to a party or something. Weekends he started to drink alone when there wasn't anything to do, and we did get pregnant so he stayed home more and squirrelled off to the basement. Sometimes when we were out at something boring like a terrific dinner with close friends, or when he got bored enough at home, he'd start making his 'party' calls, looking for something more exciting like an after hours where he could dance and basically get obliterated.
Slowly these things really started to bother me and I started to talk about it. Yup, I'm overreacting, I've changed, I'm not fun anymore, what happened to you you used to be so spontaneous. HELLO, I grew up! Once you learn about alcoholism, you will find this a very typical attitude from them. If they blame you, then they can avoid blaming themselves.
We had the same conversations about kids, and all other sorts of nagging, begging, reasoning etc. Finally he tried an outpatient program for controlled drinking, didn't do much except slow things down a bit. And in the meantime I did get pregnant. Please don't think for a second that having a child will change things. It's not like I thought it would turn all roses; on some level I knew that people only change when they're ready, but I thought it would nudge him in the right direction. Although he stayed home more, he drank at home, so that didn't really solve anything. And then I think a newborn created even more issues - difficult to cope with parenthood and it propelled him to keep drinking and going out and then I was left to care for our daughter myself many nights when he was out or otherwise incapable. One night both me and the baby got a gastro and I was up all night trying to care for a vomiting, screaming baby, while I was hugging the toilet myself and could barely get off the ground. He was passed out cold and only woke at 5am to chaos; me screaming hoarse at him to wake up to help.
In those early days I thought our dynamic was only ours, part of our relationship. I was on the merry go round for years while the issues insidiously infiltrated our relationship. Someone mentioned Al Anon and it was another year before I walked through the doors. I thought he's not really an alcoholic, his is problem drinking and we could figure it out. And then one day I was with friends, and when I came home with the baby at 7:30 on a Tuesday night and he was wasted (he was usually only a weekend warrior) and my friend was with me, I'd had enough. I found Al Anon and it changed everything.
Please try it. I wish I had realized how Al anon could have helped me back then; may have saved me additional years of grief of our horrible cycle. It is better to let them fall than to save them as you ask - if he doesn't feel his own consequences of his drinking, then he'll never have reason to change his behaviour. In the end, I was no longer going out with him and if whatever happened would happen. In the end he'd have to be the one to face up to his stupid behaviour and make apologies. And you have to get better, so that leaving him to his devices doesn't feel wrong, but right.