@Lexiecat, thanks, and you're right, the hardest part is not rescuing someone you love that is putting their life in danger. You can't help but feel that you can say the right thing or do the right thing that will turn the light on but it just doesn't work that way. Deep down they know these things anyway and if they really wanted to they would turn it on themselves. But it's never easy.
@wicked (love that screen name by the way) thanks for your encouragement. It took a while to get there. I was blown away at how fast an alcoholic can take your life down with them. It's like trying to save a person in a burning building but they won't leave so at some point you either get out or burn up with them.
@laurie6781 thanks for clearing up the ES&H for me! I agree with you completely about the shelter, I have thought a lot about it. It's only a building away from the detox though and he can go there to help out or just hang when he has nothing else to do. Plus he has meetings in several places he can go to all day. He'll either find a way to keep himself productive or he won't, it all depends on how bad he wants to keep his sobriety. It's very hard not to go pick him up, but the alternative is no better. That would mean we are back where we started and that is my biggest boundary. I'll pass on the salvation army program info. Right now, he's waiting for transitional housing but needs a job. I appreciate the big welcome, it sure is nice to have people to talk to that have "been there done that".