Originally Posted by
seekingcalm 
And the funny thing is that the longer I go no contact, the more my dream of him replaces the actual him in my thoughts.
Seeking, I understand this completely. It's the fantasy vs. reality game, and I play it in my head, too. Do you keep a written list of the things that happened or were/are not good about the relationship? I have to force myself to read mine sometimes to bring me back to reality. I also have found that if I force myself to talk about my XABF's negative behaviors with a trusted friend, I can
hear myself say
out loud why I can't go back. That shoots down the fantasy pretty quickly.
Keep reminding yourself of how important actions are compared to words.
I love mine and miss him too. I've been dealing with acceptance too. It will come to you. Take care of yourself. Hugs.