I had to reply, (while I am STILL AT WORK AGAIN)
I beleive I have sat still finally now. I think I jumped so much in the past when things were not exactly ready to go, and then I did wind up having to go backwards, not for physical reasons, but mentally, I just had to finally have enough, finally get my head together to do this. I has been such a long road, sometimes I sit still (when that rare moment strikes) and I take a long deep breath.
I really need to get some of Mealine Beatles books! Great topic...