I've not been too many of the AA/ Al Anon couples groups, but from what I saw and heard, there has been magic made (not without MAJOR hard work and pain) in these rooms.
Some couples have divorced, found this group and remarried.
I've met a few (even some last week) who told me (and my ex when he was with me) to hang in there, work the steps, take it slow and it can work out.
The addict needs to be sober though.
Take it slow and if there is hope, I would suggest a group of couples therapy with a therapist that ONLY deals in addictions.
Good luck :-)