Thanks for this thread, for me it was acceptance, I had to accept what I couldn't change. What was already done, was done. I had a hard time with the acceptance.
So here are a few things that helped me:
1. Prayer/Fellowship-I prayed daily by myself & with my church family
2. Acceptance -Insted of denial, I decided to accept the situation for what it was.
3. Outreach -Speaking to other mothers that were going through the same thing.
4. Reading- I read and learned anything and everything about addiction and the brain.
5. My Faith-Understanding that GOD hears me, and is always there for me
6. Writing- I wrote poetry and journaled my thoughts to let out my pain
7. Taking Responsibility-Understanding that I could only control myself.
and knowing I was powerless over what others do.
All of the things above have helped me alot, and even though I numbered them, it doesn't mean that it's in that order. For me my faith came first. Then Prayer. There are other things that helped me to heal. Naranon was a great help, teaching me that my son's life is not more important than my own. I still have to keep reminding myself of that. It seems to me, when he's not well, that I'm not well. I have never really been able to detach from him, and not sure that I ever will. I blame it on a mother's heart. We love totally and unconditionally. Only a mother could lift a truck off of her child.
All of those things above were very helpful in my own recovery, and even though I have over 5 years drug free, my son has been an active addict for the past 4 years on and off. He is now almost 4 months clean again, and I'm still so fearful of the horrible relapse that has come so many times in the past 4 years. I keep giving him to GOD and then taking the problem back. I'm trying to just let go now. I've been dragged around enough.