Thank you for the welcome!
I wanted to follow up about my dad, an update.... I wasn't prepared for this...
I have been attending AA meetings for so long to remember the talk of "miracles of AA (and alanon) that happen sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly."
My dad came to visit me and my husband and then my dad and I drove out of town to see family closeby. He told me of some legal trouble he got into (DUI) ... how he has been dealing with the court system for the past six months and been going to AA meetings(required) ... my dad and I talk on the phone every day and I could hear stress and worry in his voice often, but I never guessed it was that. I know many things go on in his life that I do not hear about and that goes along with being an alcoholic and a drug addict. There was one time he said he had cut back on drinking, and that his boss was in town... and really I thought he was just saying that... you know, false hope. There was no way I was going to hold on to that or believe it, especially when after he said that, I would talk to him on the phone and I could tell he had been using or drunk. I can usually tell within a few minutes or right away how much he has been drinking or if he's high. and I hate it.
Trying to stay on what I was writing... the miracles of AA... I never thought my father would attend AA meetings regularly or cut down on his drinking. Which I can tell by what he said, it might possibly have to do with fear and wanting to hold on to his job. We all need a reason or reasons to keep us coming back to AA/Alanon/etc when we are at our worst. He has lost a considerable amount of weight on worrying about his job. I felt bad that he chose not to tell me for several months but I was glad he told me then. He has been driving under the influence for YEARS and I wondered how he ever got away with it. So it is very upsetting... and DUI;s are no miracle really... but he needed to get into AA and I hope he is letting the message in.