One more thing...
Do I tell him that I've made steps toward learning/accepting my codependency and that I'm reading the book and working on myself and my own issues? I think the hardest part is not knowing how to communicate. I think I'm confusing detachment with not communicating at all. We are discussing day to day stuff and I'm treating his involvement more as temporary visitation, but not in a cold way, it's just my way of staying detached. My question is while I focus on recovery, do I communicate where I am in the process with him? I won't do it in a threatening way but more as an FYI. My former self would have been nasty by saying well I'm getting help clearly you are not. And I am learning in the book how to focus on myself, but not sure to what extent I should be communicating with him....