hi josyln-
at this stage, it is not about his preferences!
can you identify what you want?
i'm in therapy, and when my therapist asked me what i wanted, i responded a whole bunch of things about what i wanted my xABF to do. she corrected me and asked me again. and i couldn't even answer! because i didn't know.
with time, i know now. i want peace in my home.
i lived for many years like you, waiting for the other shoe to drop. it's not nice.
so, joslyn, what is it you want?
just a side note, in you initial post, the way you stated a few things concerned me...specifically...."you sent him to the shower" or "you sent him outside to speak to the police officers..."
are you his boss?
i understand very much the desire to control the alcoholic....however, he is a grown man...surely, he can make his own decisions about showering or not...or whether to go meet the police or not...
naive