Originally Posted by
Chakra 
Thank you everyone for your feedback and support. You have all solidified that my thought process is really in the right direction. I often second guess myself where she is concerned and really just need to get some balls here. Sorry if any of you were negatively impacted by that horrid visual. lol
LaFemme-I have thought about my alcoholism affecting her. It most certainly has and I would be lying if I said it didn't. We've talked are were trying to move past that. I was honest with her about the things that happened to me that caused my PTSD so she would understand that she didn't have anything to do with my drinking. She knows I'm a wreck emotionally but of course, it has all taken its toll on her over the years. I've sent her to counseling to try and help her. I told her to be honest...especially with any anger she has toward me. All in all, I feel this is a separate issue. She wants to be independent NOW and wants to hang with her BF who has no car. She knows she is bigger than me and has started to take advantage of it. It has not always been horrible between us. We have fun together a lot. And then crap like this happens. Makes me want to throw her in the Arkansas River. :P
Dee-You told me what I wanted to hear. I want to get better and that doesn't mean I'm forgiven by all so for my own progress, its probably better to detach and let the chips fall where they may.
I didn't post this in the F&F because I didn't want their judgment to be clouded by their anger. I have become very fond of the people I typically interact with here and really value your opinions. Of course, anyone is welcome to fire away.
Hi Chakra. Two issues. First of all, about you. Have you addressed the PTSD in a treatment setting? Not only does PTSD interact unfavorably with addictions, but like addiction it is virtually incurable....but it IS manageable. dialectic behavioral therapy, which is a program of several months as a rule, seems to be pretty effective. If you don't deal with the PTSD, it will continue to deal with you
Next: daughter dearest. You may want to consider the addictive nature of anger, as a dependency upon adrenaline (the drug of choice of codependents, which is why they favor anger so much). It also goes a long way to explaining why codeps/FF seem to resent our recovery and find all kinds of ways to sabotage or belittle it....and hanging on to anger is perfect. Remember....if I am addicted to adrenaline, then I will need anger, crisis, chaos, self pity, hopelessness, etc. etc. to sustain my own addiction. IMO, this is why Alanon is so critical in "addicrtive" relationships...it is the road to recovery for the adrenalized codependent who cannot live comforably without anger and crisis.
You have nothing to do with it, other than being an avenue for her to access the anger/adrenaline....pretty much like an unwitting drug dealer<G>. Rest assured, if you "cut her off," she'll find her drug elsewhere...unless she finds recovery. Untreated adrenaline addiction, often labeled codependency, is probably far more damaging than untreated alcoholism.
blessings
zenbear