Hey Chakra, I'm sorry your daughter is giving you so much grief. I don't have kids myself so I can't offer much advice other than do what you need to stay sober.
Regarding your second question...I've urked a little there myself, since I grew up with an alcoholic mother. I have also been troubled by the negativity on these boards. I wish my parents had dealt with the alcohol issue when I was a kid...obviously I think it had a negative impact on me, but I can't let it effect me.
It is possible she is punishing you (in her own mind) for your problems with alcohol. I think that for me there was an element of wanting them to notice I was self destructing and do something about it.
Don't know if that helps.