I think you need to take him at his word, that the relationship with you isn't good for either one of you right now. It seems to me that he is seeing that he hasn't made his sobriety his priority, and that's what he needs to do. It's unfortunate that you fell in love with him, but I agree--nothing you've written sounds like he is coming from a malicious place.
I've stayed friends with some exes (my first husband is one of my best friends and I get along great with his wife) and some I've had to cut loose entirely.
I'm a recovering alcoholic, and I've been married to two alcoholics. But probably the most personally destructive relationship was the last one--to someone who wasn't alcoholic (or even close), but was manipulative and emotionally abusive. I haven't had a relationship since the last one ended over five years ago. And the main reason is this: I KNOW I am not good relationship material at the moment. Until I get my own head screwed on straight I don't have any business getting involved with someone else.
It's too bad your friend didn't realize that before getting involved with you, but it's water under the bridge at this point.
Sometimes, timing is everything. I don't think it's healthy for you to put your life on hold while he straightens his out. Maybe your paths will come together in the future or maybe not. But if you can let go completely of him, now, you will be doing yourself a favor.