(((((MsLou)))))
I can't help but feel like I am letting him down in some way.
Far from it!!!! However, were you to 'take him back in' you would be letting yourself and your children down.
I have seen many "Rehab romances" over my many years in recovery and to be honest, I have not seen a single one make it, and many times both of the folks in the 'partnership' end up using and/or drinking again.
Keep 'trudgin' forward. Do the next right thing for YOU. Keep posting here and let us know how you are doing, as we do care, very much!
I do believe you now have a 'clearer' understanding of the admonishments heard in meetings:
"No major changes the first year."
Although many hear it as:
"No relationships the first year."
Which is not entirely wrong as that would be a 'major change.'
I hope you have a sponsor and can discuss all of this with her, and if not, I hope you acquire a sponsor SOON!
Love and hugs,