I am sorry you are feeling so sad, but you did such a wonderful thing for your son. So many times I've read here, that the hardest thing for some of us is to give up the dream. I miss my ex A very much, but whenever I allow contact, I'm always disappointed. He just never is the way I dream about him. But although I am very new to all of this, I am sure it's perfectly normal and expected that we will still cry over them sometimes. I guess we cry over the loss of that dream.
Enjoy your son, I have one too. Every moment is precious. Lucky Mom! Thank you for sharing.