Welcome, Joslyn. I don't have children and wasn't married as long as you but the other parts of the story are exactly the same. This time last year was completely insane. My husband was driving home drunk every day. Finally for me enough was enough and I filed for divorce and it was final in Jan. I still love him but being married to him was absolute insanity. This forum saved my life. I lurked for a very long time before I ever posted. I started going to AlAnon and it has been another source of support that helped me tremendously.
Others with good advice will be along soon. Please know that you are not alone. We understand.