Originally Posted by
TakingCharge999 
I did write a whole book, lol.
Yes, for me it has been more than a year and a half and I am starting to forget that language. Life has been great without him again, something I did not imagine could happen.
Give yourself time. You WILL see the sun once again. Time and inner work will give you perspective.
Become healthier yourself and healthier people will be around you automatically.
Do you have a therapist you can walk with during this difficult time? I suffered alone at home for MONTHS and I wish I asked for help sooner.
I am still thinking of you. Man does it hurt to break up with someone, let alone adding the monster of addiction AND someone else.
But believe me I have seen the ex almost daily as I work with him and I am able to find peace and joy again even with his constant presence and triggers...going no contact will make it easier. The first days/weeks suck. One breathe at a time.
If you could find the Rescue Remedy (bach flowers) and take it as recommended I bet you will feel more at ease. It is homeopathy and the flowers of rescue work for stages like the one you are living currently. I have personally used them and they worked like magic, made me more focused and stable.
Rescue® Remedy - Official Site
Thanks for the suggestion, I will look into it.
I was seeing my therapist up until last June and then my insurance ran out. I still have insurance that covers some other therapy, but I truly am sick of therapy. Every time I go through a break up, I run to therapy. I have many friends I'm talking to and will start back in Al Anon.
We'll see, right now, I just feel sick of anything. This relationship has SUCKED the life out of me and I can't even function
My goal and ONLY plan for the next LONG while is to get healthy. I've abandoned myself for so long. I'm crying deep inside to respect me, to love me, to find what makes me happy.