Peach, Reading what you have written about how he has behaved and the dynamic between you two just makes me sick to my stomach. I literally want to barf. I am sorry that you have gone through this and are hurting but in a way, I am glad because at least now you know the truth. And as the saying goes, the truth will set you free.
Man, how could I have been SO STUPID!
Look, I know how easy it is to feel this way. And I know it seems inconsequential to say things like this about yourself. But please try not to think this way about yourself. It is this very thing that will keep you mired in the sickness. The sickness MAKES you feel bad about yourself and continuing to believe these things keeps you sick. Become aware of how you talk to yourself and about yourself and FIGHT IT!!! :O) Be the warrior you are!! SMILE :O) Sending positive thoughts your way.