(( peach ))
One of the biggest lessons I learned in recovery was to trust my gut. I lived with a man whose words and actions often did not line up. He was so good at convincing me of whatever he wanted me to believe, and he twisted my words and turned my world off kilter often. I learned later that it was one of the main ways he was able to control me.
My recovery took time. I questioned everyone and everything for a long time. I entered another relationship too soon, which gave me another opportunity to practice some bad behaviors and experience more trampled boundaries. My recovery friends were there to pick me up, brush me off and point me in the right direction again.
It stinks, what you are going through. However, there is much to be learned if you're willing. And, I promise - there IS light and life on the other side.
Big hugs
Cats