I sit here having not slept all night and wonder how many others there were. How much he lied.
I knew he was sneeky, but never EVER EVER thought he would let it get to this. Never thought he was so low he would/could do this to me, to us
He's been sober 1 1/2 yrs, in AA for 2. He never worked his steps. Well he did twice, but like the rest of his life, he never followed through.
Anyway, it doesn't matter, I'm done! I've left and will never go back. I'm not sure how to process this intense pain.
Summerpeach,
I am so deeply sorry for the pain you are feeling now. I was cheated on too, all the while hearing the same stories, and when he was finally caught red handed, he blamed me for his cheating on me. And, for gods sake, I took it.
Now, you know, you know he is a liar and a cheat. He can swear on your kids lives that he wasnt cheating, but he was. He lied to the therapist, he has been lying to himself.
When my ex decided to continue the affair, and actually kind of flaunt it on the small post we were living on in Germany (I was active duty) he was trying to get me to start drinking again. We had both been to rehab, 6 weeks inpatient. I was still sober, he was back at it in two weeks. She would drink with him.
So, she was sent back home to Texas. Turns out having affairs with active dutys' spouses is not "in keeping with the good order" of the morale of the Army. My ex was sent home to Michigan shortly thereafter because he was still making a fool of himself drinking and fighting on post. Not in keeping with the good order and all.
So now, there is no more gaslighting, you know what you have known probably this whole time, but have been expertly and skillfully lied to. And, man, oh man does it hurt.
Yeah, but you are truly in reality now. And if I remember some of your previous posts, you have no problem dealing with reality. You can do this.
Share with your therapist or at group, there will be others to support you.
You will come out stronger and wiser on the other side.
I will be thinking of you.
Beth
(the formerly gaslighted and disrespected one)