It's finally over, he cheated.
So after 5 years, many issues, many hours of couples therapy, many hours of him in AA and me in Al Anon. Many hours of him swearing on his KIDS heads he was faithful and many hours of talks, I snoop through his cell this morning and see he's been having an affair. He deleted most of the evidence, but forgot 2 pics.
Claims it's only been a few weeks, claims he was never physical with her, but admitted to phone sex, sex txting, meeting a few times for coffee and many many emails and nude pics. Oh and one "little kiss"
Claims our relationship was so volatile and he was never sure if we were going to be together or not and claimed he was feeling down about himself and needed the attention.
Claims he ended the flirting with her since he really loved me and wanted to work it out
I asked to look into his email before I kicked him out, he let me look. There was an email from her sent yesterday saying "I miss you already, this really sucks so bad"
Not quite words of someone you've only claim to be speaking with for 3 weeks.
She is married with 3 kids. Classless!
At first he was saying I was blowing it out of proportion, then was saying he was sorry and please, don't let this happen.
Saying "Please, I love you, I f*cked up, please"
He lied, he cheated and I kicked him out. I'm in shock!
He txt me a few times once he left saying "I'm sorry, I know you can never trust me again, I am sorry".
He sent many txt saying he was going to be alone to get help and how sorry he was and that it never got physical. That it was wrong and he did it and justfied it because he knew it was never going to go anywhere.
He FINALLY took responsibility and admitted his actions where wrong. He knows I'll never come back. I do doubt he will fix himself or change like he's claiming, but it really doesn't make a difference at this point
He's sick, really sick! Im sick, really sick to have tolerate his ABUSE for so long.
He's been gaslighting me for a long time now.
He's been going out for "coffee" a lot and I asked him if he was meeting someone there, He denied it and last week YELLED at me and said "Your mistrust of me is making want out and it's out of hand, I am not cheating on you and stop accusing me"
Well he said "I never even met with her" to "Ok, I met her for coffee, but only once" which calculates to more than once.
I sit here having not slept all night and wonder how many others there were. How much he lied.
I knew he was sneeky, but never EVER EVER thought he would let it get to this. Never thought he was so low he would/could do this to me, to us
He's been sober 1 1/2 yrs, in AA for 2. He never worked his steps. Well he did twice, but like the rest of his life, he never followed through.
Anyway, it doesn't matter, I'm done! I've left and will never go back. I'm not sure how to process this intense pain.
Please help