Freedom1990

I put a tremendous amount of work into my own recovery, and that is how I have stayed clean/sober since 1990.

I had to hit a bottom, and not once, but twice.

I threw 4 years clean/sober out the window in 1990, and thank God there was no one around to pick me up, pat me on the back, or offer support.

I spent two miserable months out there, and when I was tired of hurting, I drug myself back up the long flight of steps to my home 12 step group, and I started all over again.

I would highly recommend reading "Codependent No More" by Melody Beattie. It was a real eye-opener for me in realizing why I kept choosing unavailable men over and over.

I also have a 32 year old daughter who's an active addict, and I would have zero contact with her if it were not for my 15 year old granddaughter, who lives with her now.

She would have to have a minimum of 2 years continuous, solid recovery before I would even let her into my home again.

The 'help' he needs is among professionals and others in recovery, not from you. Until he's ready to get help, there is nothing anyone can do.

I hope you continue to post, and know that you are among friends.