chrissieo83

Hi, I'm new to all this and was brought here because I met an awesome guy back in february who I knew was a recovering crack addict (only 6 months at that time) but he seemed to be on a very healthy and direct path... He had priorities, plenty of hobbies and interests, a good relationship with God, and was a very loving and uplifting person - there was a lot of hope and a seemingly bright future ahead of him and I fell in love. Everything was wonderful the first few months, we hung out every spare moment we could. In June he had gotten some great news that he had found a full time job in landscaping (which is something he loves) and it really seemed like things were gonna get even better! To my surprise, he quickly started to deteriorate and distance himself from me and my daughter - whom he'd also been very close with. He got incredibly moody and of course I started questioning him about it but he just kept telling me he was depressed or tired or some other excuse. One day I did not hear from him at all, which is very unusual. I knew he had gotten off of work and tried calling but no answer. He called back 2 hours later all hyped up and when I questioned about it he quickly dismissed it and said he had to do something and would call me right back... never heard back from him. The next day when I still had not heard anything I went to his house and packed up everything that was over there. He called me crying when he got off work and told me he needed to talk to me. The next day he came out and told me what happened and I had no words except that I would not put up with it again! He never made any promises but convinced me to give him another chance. 3 weeks ago it happened again! Last min. cancellation of plans and no word from him for 2 days. Once again I had to go back and get my stuff. He met me there and started crying again and apologized and I felt awful but I told him I couldn't do it anymore and I needed to distance myself but still wanted to be friends because I care about him very much and if I can help and support him in his recovery I will. Things have been going ok... of course I've had some suspicions that he is still using but was not 100% until last night. I felt it coming - it was payday and he had a bout of the F-it's when i talked to him the night before. I told him to call me when he got off of work which he assured he would, but never heard a thing. It was confirmed by his mom who had the same feeling that morning and also said she'd not heard from him and he did not bring her $ like he's supposed to on payday.
What do I do here? I know he'll probably be calling tomorrow when he's feeling better and ready to talk, and I want to let him know that I'm still here for him, but really just don't know the right things to say or how you are supposed to go about supporting someone in this situation - Just that he should probably quit that job (he gets the stuff from the guy he works with) and he NEEDS TO GET HELP!
Are there any suggestions on what I can do to convince him his life IS worth it?? How do other people keep themselves clean for so long? what does it take?
Sorry this is so awfully long!