Thanks TLG - Yesterday was yet another defining moment for me. I woke up today not mad like I was, but with just a calm realization. What set me off last night was expectations. He had a fair amount of $ come in and I expected it to handle it differently. It was MY expectations that he'd see how full my plate was and how much it takes to raise kids financially. On some level he knows this, but I guess I was feeling disrespected, unappreciated etc. But those feelings happened with me because I expect him to see that. My bad... I see that now, but was seething with what I found out yesterday.
I've not received a dime in child support. Divorce is going on 5 months being final. Yet MIL continues to pump money into his account for haircuts, cigarettes, etc. She put a whopping $50 into HIS child support account so he wouldn't be turned over to 'legal' and have a bench warrant out and go back to jail. I flipping gave 4x that to babysitters in a week to care for OUR kids so "I" can work. I haven't seen a dime of that $ because of supposed fees. Before you all point out that HIS MOM is paying squat to HIS child support. Yep, I know it. I haven't spoken to her in months because she's a sick, sick woman who sets me off every single time I speak with her. I cannot even stand the tone of her voice anymore.
Just another reason to detach from all of this. You are right TLG - there is a reason that I fought so hard for him to be my ex.