Originally Posted by
LaFemme 
Funny, I never really thought I could do moderation, all my attempts were for complete sobriety, which I failed time and again. I had to get to the point were I not only was ready to let go, but desired the freedom from alcohol more than anything else. (This is not a description of Rock Bottom, or having to stop.because it was killing me, I knew it was killing me long before I stopped).
I plan on spending the rest of my life nourishing and feeding that desire, in any way shap or form I can:-)
I never honestly contemplated quitting, because my life and who I was, was based on my drinking. I also never looked at my issue as physical in nature, I thought I had a mental control issue that I could overcome and moderate. If I knew a long time ago that my body reacts differently by releasing more dopamine when I drank than everyone else and it would create this need for me to keep drinking I think I would have quit sooner. I just thought I was being mentally weak and it was something that I could eventually fix.
If you don't understand the nature of your problem it becomes impossible to solve.