Originally Posted by
BadChoices 
I know that starting a relationship in these conditions is not ideal but it happened.
Sure it happened. Heck, it happened to me. That occurrence is in the past. Just because "it happened" doesn't mean you have to continue with the relationship the way it is.
Originally Posted by
BadChoices I'm not going to leave him, I don't see how that is going to help anything.
You don't have to END it. You can however put it on hold until he's been in recovery for a long while. You can support him, from a distance, but expect that he'll try to rope you into more...Like I said, if it's meant to be, then it'll happen. There's no rush right?
Originally Posted by
BadChoices I know that drinking with him is not a good idea ever but if he is going to do it anyway or already is, what am I supposed to do??
Well, as it stands right now you can:
a) Do nothing. Keep going as you are. See where it leads you. I'm sad to say that you may well end up like I did, dating, then living with and then married to an alcoholic...I'm just now getting free of him. I really thought I could help him.
b) Decide what your boundaries are and enforce them (as in, "I will not be around you if you drink" or "I refuse to come rescue you when you are drunk").
c) Leave the relationship
Originally Posted by
BadChoices I was expecting to find supportive people in similar situations who could commiserate about how hard it is and who would offer tips about what has been helpful for them. It seems like everyone who responded is really looking at things in black and white instead of shades of grey, this is real life it doesn't always go by the book.
The people who responded to your cry for "Help" are all people who are currently in or have been involved with/married to/family with an alcoholic, for several years. Read the stories on the board; we're all there with you or have been at some point in our lives. Perhaps you took their responses as unsupportive because what you read wasn't exactly what you were hoping to hear.
Also, they most likely responded to you in the hopes of sparing you the hardship and tears they've been through for several years. I know my thoughts were somewhere along the lines of "oh good, she's only been with him for 2 months, perhaps she'll walk away more easily". It's all well intentioned...
Originally Posted by
BadChoices He has a disease not the plague. He is fighting it but struggling and I am trying to support him as best as I know how, obviously on my own.
Yes he has a disease, but every time he takes a drink, every time he relapses, he's making a choice. No one is there, with a gun to his temple, saying "Drink it down boy!". If you are there with him, providing him with a "soft place to land", whether it be in the form of cash to help him out, picking him up at some bar when he's drunk, listening to his drunken calls, or whatever, you're preventing him from reaching his all important bottom.
Like I said, he deserves the DIGNITY of finding recovery for himself.