Honestly, my ultimate plan is to detach as much as possible until I have the funds to leave/kick him out. I've started a separate checking/savings so that I can have enough for a lawyer. I know that I can file by myself and it's much cheaper, but we have children and property. I feel like it's going to be sticky and I don't qualify for any type of legal aid. I've thought about it a lot in the past few weeks and I know he doesn't want to change and I don't want to live my life 'detached' from it, YK?
To me, his behavior this morning was his way of 'making it right'. He knows how I feel about his drinking, he knows that I would be upset "if I knew" he was drinking last night (I'm sure he genuinely believes I have no idea or that I 'haven't figured it out' yet.) The only reason I'm sure he stopped drinking is because ALL the places to buy alcohol close at 11 through the week here. I went to bed at 10:30 and his buying habits are to only get as much as he thinks will tide him over b/c he knows he can't control what he drinks as soon as he starts drinking. We're smack dab in the middle of relapse and having been on the sober side, we aren't up to full force midnight-drunken-temper-tantrum. We're still in the early 'I'm going to hide it and pretend that you don't know phase'.
He's also had no less than three energy drinks this morning, and I'm sure he'll have more throughout the day. He doesn't do other drugs (to my knowledge....). I have a friend that is going to watch kiddos this evening for me. You make a good point in that they shouldn't have to deal with that and it's naive to think that he won't be grumbly with them since I'm positive he is going to come up with a reason to argue this evening.