Welcome to the SR family!
Your ABF (Alcoholic Boy Friend) needs to make sobriety his priority. He needs to find new ways of coping with everyday life, rather than drowning out everyday life with a bottle. That is why it is recommended that alcoholics abstain from starting new relationships. The alcoholic needs to focus on recovery.
Having a drink with a recovering alcoholic is neither supportive or enabling. I my opinion, it is denial. Denial that the alcoholic can handle a drink. Denial that this is a progressive addiction. Denial of the fact that it gets worse.
I am known as Pelican and I am a recovering alcoholic. Pleased to meet you. I am also a recovering codependent and recovering ex of an alcoholic.
I had to learn to take better care of myself and stop trying to fix/rescue/help others do what they can do for themselves. Reading "Codependent No More" helped me begin my journey of recovery. I highly recommend that book.
Stick around and do some reading in the sticky (Permanent) posts at the top of this forum. Some of our stories are there and lots of wisdom!