TimeDrain

I will have two months sober on August 5th . Yesterday I went to see inception at the downtown IMax with my brother . The only place to eat beforehand was Pyramid; a brewery . I made it through this but thoughts were starting to race in my mind. The various ales and lagers started to consume the majority of my thoughts. Playing the tape all the way through saved me from myself .

So then we go home and he drinks an entire bottle of wine or two and I just sit there watching him play a videogame. He seems to have no joy when there isnt any alcohol in him . His entire persona goes from melencholy to joyful.

I really was right on the edge of relapse. I resorted to taking some melatonin and made it to bed .

I wake up today full of fear and uncertainty . Will I ever be able to have strength around the devil or is it like Lord of the Rings where Bilbo has to just keep the ring away lol.

I am obviously much weaker than I had previously thought at this time . Still sober and more self aware. The battle continues. It's hard to carry resentment towards alcohol , emotions fade with time. I need something more something not founded in emotion .

More work to be done . Just wanted to share my journey . Thank you everyone , this site is a lifesaver.