Sorry you are feeling so depressed. The thing is, many times we never get the answers we are looking for. It sucks, but that's just the way it is sometimes. You aren't experiencing anything that many of us haven't experienced. It's all a part of the process. Allow yourself to feel your feelings, but if you find yourself stuck for very long, you might want to talk with your doctor. Sometimes we need a little help just to get us over that hump.