oh lulu, I'm sorry you're going through this rollercoaster of emotions. From my perspective though, it's all normal in your journey towards recovery. You went through the denial phase earlier and now it's on to sadness and anger. I think it's great that you're using SR to verbalize those emotions.
Try to remember that discomfort never killed anybody and that you're doing exactly what you need to do to deal with your feelings: you're letting yourself experience them.
Remember also to give yourself a break. Recovery takes time. Remember to address the needs in HALT (Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired), so sleep lots, eat well, spend time with friends and family, and punch a few pillows if you need to).
You're doing good. I'm sending you as strong a virtual hug as I can muster, all the way from Montreal, Québec.
****HUGS****