Happy belated birthday!
7
You took a huge step over the past couple of days! How much easier it would have been in the short run to accept his texts, say okay we'll try again, and go to this wedding the way it was planned. I've done that type of thing often...kept the peace, or tried again because I thought maybe this time I will be "good enough" and can be loved...Maybe this time, it will be the happy ending I want. It did seem easier at the time; I don't like conflict, so it always seemed easier to give in. But most times, the result was simmering resentments and eventually things would blow, leaving me feeling ashamed of my behavior and wondering again if my lack of something was the cause.
A viscous cycle with no happy ending for sure. The first time I tried to break that cycle, it was hard, but it got easier each time I tried, and my self confidence grew as I learned to use tools to work on me. So, I agree - you have lots to be proud of!
I hope you will keep attending meetings, getting that face to face support and reading the posts here that share experience, strength and hope. I've learned a lot from those posts and I hope you will too. I also sure hope you will do something really fun and special today...Make it an all about you day!
