Welcome Laurie!
I understand your thinking that you work hard, deserve to chill, life is short, etc.
The problem is that alcohol wants you dead. It doesn't want to just soothe you after a long day or help you celebrate on special occasions.
It appears that way, but its goal is to get you dependent on it, then slowly get you alone and isolated and then take everything from you.
The fascade of the control game is part of the process. I have yet to meet anyone who's been successful at controlling alcohol once their drinking has become a problem.
The drinking problem process has already begun with your health and it seems from your family and GF's concern as well.
My alcoholism counselor told me that the reason why you don't see many people in their 50's in recovery is because they've resigned themselves to the fact that they're too old (ie, life is short). You're never too old to take your life back and make it your own.
If you lived to be 80, would you want to look back on the 23 years you have left as fulfilling by drinking and furthering your health problems? The progression only gets worse until you're left with nothing.
You've been given a wake-up call, Laurie. Please answer it. So glad you're here with us.