hi-
i don't have children so perhaps i should leave your question to those who have experience.
however, i do want to say that i think it's healthy and a testement to your relationship with your daughter that she can verbalize how she feels so succinctly and honestly with you.
i find myself wondering if perhaps there would be some benefit to her writing a letter to her father regarding how she actually feels. this letter doesn't ever have to be sent to him, but it might help her express how she feels and share it with you and for her to know that it's ok.
i think also perhaps it would be helpful to discuss the concept and method of determining boundaries with her. she's 14 and she's dealing with him and she too will have to set boundaries with him when in his care. if he crosses one of her boundaries, does she have an out? can she leave and return home, for example.
i don't have children and please forgive me if i misspeak here, but i worked with troubled youths as a teacher. i got them when they had been kicked out of all the local schools, that's when they came to my class. they were 14-16 and were dealing with very real issues in their homes. they knew the score.
when i read what your daughter has said, she seems pretty clear. she says:
I know that deep down inside I must love him, but I don't want to spend time with him anymore
that's a big statement. is it possible to honour her request?
he's done this himself with his choices. oddly, i feel no sympathy towards him. why should she spend time with him if she doesn't want to?