he is just as mean, or meaner the next time..because abuse escalates.
this is something i am very good at forgetting.
as far as the whole "abuse" term goes, i am really just now for being able to use it in reference to anything that has happened in my life.
it is a crazy feeling.
my qualifiers are both of my parents, with whom i had an intensely emotionally and physically abusive relationship from the age of around 8 to sometime in my early 20's (i just turned 30 this week). i remember writing once my college creative writing class a story about a girl and her mother and physical abuse and the girl was my age in the story. one of the comments in class was how unrealistic the story was because no one would allow themselves to be abused at that age and the teacher agreed i should change the age of the girl. that was very confusing to me.
as far as my bf goes, he has already "realized" the error of his ways and i was left a 4 minute long message last night that was almost weepy sounding. and it breaks my heart. i wish so bad i could help but i do know that i can't. and i'm also kinda angry that he thinks it's that easy.
i have not yet responded nor have i sent the email.