What's "wrong" with you is that you are a battered woman. He has used physical and emotional violence to control you and damage your self-worth. Don't trust your thoughts that tell you that you miss him! Do you miss having the crap beaten out of you?
You should focus on one thing right now - how do I get the hell away from this person? Do everything you can to cut ties. It's only when you have him completely out of your system that you'll be able to think clearly. You'll think, what took me so long?