4 Whole Months Without The Bottle
Well friends, it's officially been 4 months since I last had so much as a drop of alcohol. 4 months since the day I had my spiritual awakening, went to 4 AA meetings and found this site. 4 months of not being totally and completely disgusted with myself.
Things are a lot different, and better, now. My coworkers constantly complain about being hung over. I just say, "Yeah, I feel pretty great this morning." And they're like, "Shut up, Chris!" And I'm like, "Well, you done it to your dang self." I know what it's like, because I done it to my dang self almost every day for over a decade. Drinking so much that I knew the next day would suck, then drinking some more just to make myself fall asleep faster so there would be less suckiness. Somehow, that equation never added up the way I wanted it to.
I used to do really stupid things. I used to just do things, without even considering what I was doing or what the outcome might be. And if I did somehow think for a second, and thought the outcome might be bad, I'd just convince myself of why that wasn't so and I'd do it anyway. Now I actually feel like I make pretty good decisions on a regular basis. Sure I still screw up time to time, but overall I'm flying pretty straight.
I work in a nice restaurant. I serve and handle alcohol 5 nights a week. And I'm happy for the people who can come in and have a few drinks after work, and go home and not think about a drink again for days or weeks. That ain't me. I party hard, and I keep the party going later than anyone else. Now I come home after work and play LEGO Star Wars on my PS3 and get on here and talk to you fine people.
Which brings me to you fine people. Man, there are just a lot of really, really cool folks here. Don't even know where to start, but CarolD, least, Dee, topspin, DayTrader, artsoul...and so many others...you guys all make this place what it is. I come here every day, even when I don't post, and I know I'll see something from you guys that makes me smile, or think, or want to be a better person, or help someone else, or just plain keep this recovery train a' rollin.
Not a drop since the day I first came here. Sure, there are lots of variables, but something has to be said for my (so far) 100% alcohol-free attendance at SR. If you're new here and reading this, this recovery thing can work for you. It works for many people in many different ways. There's lots of us here who use various different tools to help us in our recovery, but SR is the one constant for all of us. Think about that, and keep coming back. I swear before my God, if a drunk like me can go an entire 4 months without the booze, it's possible for anyone.